1. Non-lawyers are only allowed to make lawyer jokes if they (the jokes) are clever. Lawyers can make non-clever lawyer jokes because we are lawyers - you can't really think any worse of us. (see, that wasn't very clever, but you don't think worse of me because I'm already a dirty lawyer)
2. You are allowed to gripe about high gas prices OR global warming. You are not allowed to be a global warming alarmist and not be thrilled about higher gas prices.
3. If you place an ad on craigslist, YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO CAPITALIZE WORDS YOU WANT TO EMPHASIZE. ENTIRE POSTINGS IN CAPITALS ARE UNACCEPTABLE.
4. Television habits have achieved sexual proclivity status. You're into what you're into and whatever you do behind closed doors is between you, your spouse and God. No one is allowed to criticize someone else's TV show preferences, unless they don't like Cash Cab. You don't have to think it's the best show ever, but you have to at least mildly enjoy a New York cabbie picking up random people and asking them trivia questions for petty cash.